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Were You Raised By A Narcissist?
Moms warn about the dangers of slushies
The Weekly Parent
February 20, 2024
TOP OF MIND
Raised by a narcissist
The internet loves to throw around the word "narcissist" as if 90% of the population is just walking around with a very serious personality disorder. In reality, many people might display narcissistic-like behavior at some point in their life, but that doesn't mean they are actually a narcissist.
Still, we're all looking back at our childhoods, questioning, "Was my parent a narcissist?"
It's a fair question, and thankfully, we may be able to help you come to a conclusion.
The important bits
Licensed clinical social worker Najamah Davis recently talked to Parade about narcissism and how it can leave a lasting impact on children. She explained how kids who are raised by a narcissists often have deep emotional wounds, even as adults.
Trauma expert Dr. Frank Anderson wrote a memoir (To Be Loved) about growing up with and healing from a narcissistically abusive parent.
He explains the dynamic...
Primarily, the relationship centers around what is in the best interest of the parent. Kids become disconnected from their own needs, wants, and desires. They are often people pleasing, avoid conflict at all costs and will accommodate others to a fault to keep the relationship intact.
Wondering if your parents fit the bill? Well, there are 10 signs to watch out for.
Lack of empathy
Constant need for admiration
Manipulation through guilt-trips
Bad at repairing emotional situations
They never apologize
Overly critical behavior
Mixed messages, oftentimes praising and criticizing in the same sentence
They make everything a competition
Gaslighters
They refuse to set boundaries
Read more in depth explanations for all 10 signs here.
What's it all mean?
We all have some sort of emotional damage from our childhood, but if you were raised by a true narcissist, you probably wouldn't even be questioning it. Despite the social media discourse, narcissistic personality disorder has not been on the rise, this according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. They say the number of people being diagnosed has been pretty stable at around "0 to 6.2 percent in community studies."
Even if your parent fails to meet the criteria, we’re sure they messed you up in their own special way. Here's how to deal with it.
Take care of yourself.
DID YOU HEAR
Are slushies safe for your kids?
We all love a good slushy, right? Especially on a hot summer day. But is the icy beverage safe for young children? Maybe not. A mother from the UK is warning parents not to give their kids slushies after her 4-year-old son nearly died after consuming one. The issue stems from an ingredient often found in slushies called glycerol.
It's safe for adults to consume in small doses, but for kids? Too much glycerol can be fatal.
Grandparents are REALLY important
A new report published in the journal Population Studies is shedding light on just how important grandparents are to a new mom's mental health. According to the study, mothers are less likely to purchase antidepressants if their own parents are younger than 70, employed and without severe health problems.
Basically, more help = less stress.
Millions of women are under-muscled
Like most things, muscle mass peaks in our 30s, and then gradually declines as we continue to age. Muscle-loss impacts more than 45% of older Americans, especially women. Why is this a big deal? Well, because loss of strength as you age increases the risk of falling and breaking bones. Here's what you can do about it now.
How much lead do Stanley cups have?
For some reason, everyone wants a Stanley cup these days, especially kids in school. In fact, the cups are becoming somewhat of a status symbol, with some kids being bullied for not having a real one. Now some parents are questioning just how safe the cups are after several consumers filmed themselves testing the cups for lead. See the results here.
Tangled up in red tape
Parents in Florida are starting to grow tired of the strict laws weighing down their local school districts. The new Parental Rights in Education law is making it difficult to plan any school activities. One recent example comes from Boone High School, where students wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day by hosting a "rom-com movie night" on the football field. They voted for the PG Disney film, Tangled, but before they could watch the movie, every parent had to sign a permission slip.
Head lice is on the rise
Can you really treat it with olive oil or mayo? Find out here.
BITES WITH KIYAH
Mamas! As you saw above, we need to ensure we are maintaining our strength and consuming enough protein. (Taking care of our bodies is just as important as our littles!) It can seem daunting to get the recommended amount of protein, but these recipes will help make achieving your goals a little easier!
Kiyah is the co-founder of Kizingo Kids and an expert in nutrition. Follow her on Instagram.
VIRAL TIKTOK PRODUCTS (that are actually good)
You can't escape viral TikTok products these days. It seems like everyone is trying to push something, but what viral items are actually worth trying? We found a few that we love.
This Japanese BBQ sauce is super tasty and goes with just about anything. Even professional chefs are singing its praises. You need to try it.
These super cool silicone thumb wall hooks will not only bring you joy, but also organization. You can use them to sort all your charging cords, hold your makeup brushes, keys, jewelry and so much more. You could also just place them around your house to make you smile. That's what we do.
Okay, so you probably don't NEED this portable cereal cup, but you definitely WANT it. Trust us. It'll transform your cereal eating game. No spoon required!
PARENTING WIN/FAIL
This week, loyal reader Heather W. explains why she and her daughter might skip their next birthday invite...
i'm mortified!!! My 3-year-old daughter was invited to a birthday party this past weekend, and i hardly knew anyone there, which makes this so much worse. They had all the gifts in the corner of the kitchen waiting to be opened after all the kids finished with the bounce house out back. At some point while i was trying my best to socialize with the other parents, my daughter went inside and opened nearly every single present. I CRIED! LOL! Ugh. They were so nice about it, but still, no no no no!
Oh my word. We can only imagine. At least you can laugh about it now? Or at least we can.
If you have a parenting win/fail you'd like to share, email us at [email protected] and your story will be featured in a future edition!
HERE’S A QUESTION
How often do your kids see their grandparents? |
Last week, we asked how much you spend on groceries every month, and a little over 40% of you answered "$500 or less" while "$800" came in a close second. "$1,000" and "$1,200" were tied for third.
RECALLS
Do you like your cheese raw? If so, you probably want to pay attention to the latest cheese recall. Raw Farm cheddar cheese is recalling several of its products after at least 10 people fell ill from E.coli poisoning.
This recall impacts multiple states, with people getting sick in California, Texas, Colorado and Utah. The recalled cheese was sold throughout the country, most commonly found in Sprouts Farmers Market and Bristol Farms.
If you have the cheese, please throw it out or return it to the store for a full refund.